What is coaching?
If you’ve ever found yourself asking this question, you’re not alone. This is one of the most googled questions when it comes to coaching so I thought I’d create a video to help dispel any myths and answer that question for you.
Check out this video for my take on what coaching is, what it isn’t, how to know when you’re ready to work with a coach and the first steps in reaching out to a coach.
So what is coaching?
Coaching provides an opportunity for people to say the things they would normally be too scared to say. It’s a safe, judgement free space for people to explore who they are and what they want from life away from the busyness of the hamster wheel that is modern day life.
The coach’s job is to listen to the client, to lend an impartial ear. A coach has no preconceived ideas about who the client is, what they should be doing and how they should be living. Only the client knows that. The coach is simply there to challenge any limiting beliefs, ideas and stories that might be holding the client back and to help them get back in touch with what’s true for them.
A coach will help you become aware of your thoughts, take back control of your thoughts and, in so doing, take back control of your life.
As we get older we get caught up in the doing of life rather than the being. We lose track of who we really are, what we really value, how we want to be living and what’s truly important to us. We just don’t talk about these things with most people because they’re uncomfortable subjects for many of us.
That’s the beauty of working with a coach.
Who am I?
Can you answer that question?
It’s a toughie even for those of us who have existential tendencies and spend a lot of time pondering it.
Coaching enables the client to get intimate with who you truly are, what do you value, what do you want your life to be like and what’s your purpose in this life (just small matters then!)
What coaching isn’t
Coaching is not about fixing people.
Why? Because, I believe, we’re not broken. For many of us we’ve just lost touch with the truth of who we are and, as Robert Holden often says, we’re simply suffering from psychology. There’s nothing about our true essence that needs to be fixed.
Coaching is also not about me, the coach, telling you what to do, who to be and how to live. This may come as a disappointment to you if you’re looking for someone to give you all the answers and a quick fix.
The thing is, nobody but you has the answers. Only you know what’s right for you and how you want to live. If you’re thinking “I have no clue what I want or who I am!” well coaching is what enables you to get in touch with your inner guide. From that place you can start to discern what’s right for you and what’s not.
How does coaching differ from therapy or counselling?
Coaching is more future focused than therapy or counselling.
There will be times in coaching where we examine events from the past to understand where certain beliefs have come from but that’s not the focus.
The focus in coaching is on the now and the future. It’s all about creating a better now so that you can create a better future.
Whatever is uncovered in coaching is then used to help you act differently and create goals and plans that will help you determine your future.
What’s the difference between life coaching and executive coaching?
Life coaching is all about you.
Life coaching doesn’t focus on helping you become a better leader or helping you become more productive at work. It’s about helping you figure out who you are, what you want and what’s in your best interest.
You may well become more present and engaged at work as a result of life coaching, but that’s a by product rather than the main focus.
How do you know when you’re ready for coaching?
You’re feeling stuck.
You’ve been hoping that those feelings of dissatisfaction, of self doubt, of unhappiness would just go away, but they haven’t.
You’ve achieved everything you wanted to in life and yet something is still missing. Life looks full on the outside but feels empty on the inside.
Amidst the busyness of life you’ve probably lost sight of who you are and the life you want to live. You’ve probably realised that you’re living the life others wanted you to live.
If you’re alive, you need help
Another pearl of wisdom from Robert Holden.
Who doesn’t need a bit of help these days?
In the past fifty or so years life has changed beyond all recognition. We’re expected to handle so much more than we used to. We’re bombarded with information from all sides. The days when nobody could get hold of you when you left the house are long gone, more’s the pity.
Feeling like you need a bit of help to get clarity is nothing to be ashamed of. Far from it.
If you really want to live your best possible life, then that takes a team.
No athlete or sportsperson achieves greatness without a team of people to help them. Why should it be any different for the rest of us mere mortals?
We need someone to help us see what’s just noise, what’s conditioning and what’s the truth.
Sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know and we just can’t see what we can’t see. We need people on our team to help us out with this thing called life.
If I want to work with a coach what’s the next step?
If all of this has helped you decide that you’d like to work with a coach then the next step is finding the right coach for you.
Maybe that coach is me (yay!) or maybe it’s somebody else.
The first step is to get in touch with a coach who resonates with you. You can normally contact coaches via their websites or even via social media. For instance, you can contact me via my contact page, via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or via direct message on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.
Each coach will work differently but normally they’ll set up a call for you to find out if you’re a good fit to work together and which package will work for you.
Then it’s time to get to work!
What’s it like to work with me?
My coaching is very individualised. While I have certain exercises that will be helpful for most people and I do have containers of three sessions, six weeks and three months, each client’s journey is different.
I mostly work with people via Skype, so geography is not an issue, and I can work face to face depending on location.
Our work together is tailored and bespoke, just like you.
We’ll start with a few questions to inform our work together and then decide where’s the best place for us to start.
While I can absolutely provide structure at times if needed, the beauty of coaching is in the exploration.
I want you to cultivate excellence in your life, to create a life that you love living every day.
If that floats your boat, then let’s talk.
With deepest love and devotion,