Awakening. The premise of this website, this blog and, in truth, the pervasive undercurrent of mine, and I expect many other people’s, lives. What are we here for, after all, if not to live fully awake?
In my case, it took me a while to figure this out, to even recognise that I was, if not sleep walking through life, at least wandering around with blinkers on, following “the rules” and dismissing anything and everyone who didn’t fit in with said rules. That was until I could no longer ignore the fact that life was not quite meeting my expectations, not quite following the rules I guess you could say.
It was 2008, maybe early 2009, when, as part of my transition from one job to the next, I had the great fortune to meet and work with a career coach who offered to help me determine what my next step on the career ladder would be. As luck would have it she was as much a life coach as a career coach and it was she who introduced me to my perfectionism, a lifelong companion of mine that I had up until then never been aware of. This introduction was the catalyst for my awakening, for my blossoming into the person I am today and the person I am yet to become.
It’s fair to say my awakening has been a slow process.
2013, another tipping point. This time I found myself at the point of near meltdown, working seventy plus hours a week at a job that was slowly sucking out my soul, and trapped in a golden cage of my very own making. I decided to take some time off to consider my options. A month, to be precise.
I don’t remember the exact order of what happened during my time off but I know that I read a book called The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware, started working with a life coach and heard a wealth coach give a talk about Financial Freedom. Suddenly the audacious dreams I had had as a youngster began to re-emerge: dreams of having enough money to live an abundant life, dreams of houses in multiple locations, dreams of spending each day doing something I was passionate about and making great money in the process (the audacity!) The overarching theme of my childhood dreams was self-actualisation, a term that meant nothing to me then but which means everything to me now. It is in fact the foundation of my life’s purpose, to become the most “me” that I can be, and to enable, empower and encourage others to do the same.
I would love to say that I had en epiphany during my time off and instantly knew what I wanted to do with my life from that day forward but it didn’t quite happen like that. What I did know, however, was what I didn’t want, often a much easier place to start than trying to figure out what we do want. I knew that following somebody else’s rules from 9 to 5, spending all day sitting at a computer fighting with Excel spreadsheets (they always won), the stress and politics of working in a big corporation and the feeling of wasting my life sitting in a big grey box were not for me. And so began my exploration of new possibilities. I qualified as a life coach, started studying to become a personal trainer and I am now running a property business as well as writing this blog.
In truth, I’m not sure that there is one thing that I could happily do all day everyday. I thrive on variety, on learning new things, on embracing everything that I am passionate about. What I do know is that I love writing and speaking and that I feel called to share the things I am learning, especially if those things have the potential to change someone’s life for the better.
Although I am still defining my purpose in relation to what I can offer others I do know this: I am here to wake others up, to open their eyes to all the beautiful possibilities that life has to offer. I do not want anybody on their 85th birthday to be thinking “Was that all life had to offer? I’m not sure it was worth the effort really!”, myself included. I am still a work in progress. I still find myself wandering off down tracks that aren’t really right in a desperate attempt to find some certainty amidst the uncertainty but to think of where I would be now had I not woken up makes me shudder.
All those years spent living with blinkers on, denying my truth, were, however, not wasted, as I have only been able to learn about who I really am by experiencing the contrast of who I really am not.
And so, my intention is to create a safe, judgement free space in which myself and anybody who chooses to read my blog posts can get curious about the areas of their life that aren’t quite working, from wealth to wellbeing, from spirituality to sensuality, and can explore how to go about making improvements.
As much as it may not feel like it when our crazy brains seem to be running the show or when everything around us in the media and society tells us otherwise, we each have the power to create our own reality. It is once we take ownership of this that we will start to live fully awake.